how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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