My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
