Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
