Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
