I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
