so that wasnt chicken after all
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
