The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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