Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
