I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
