He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
