So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
false alarm, still single
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