do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
