So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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