escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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