The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
