i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
