He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
