I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Duck Duck Cougar?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
