he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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