you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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