I think im going to throw up on grandma
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
