We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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