you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
