dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
