oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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