i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Even the bartender felt bad for me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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