I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
