Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize