I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
