Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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