drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
