The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
