I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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