yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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