Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
