if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
