Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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