Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
