You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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