Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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