forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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