Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
