they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
