Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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