So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
