So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
