Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
