fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
