...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
