i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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