Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
