please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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