So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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