Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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