I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
