Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
