Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
