Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
